i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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