At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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