Sry I called you an 8
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
