Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
