As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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