Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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