He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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