Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We just shotgunned beers for America
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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