I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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