Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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