Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
it's great music for shaving your balls
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
