I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
