woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
