I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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