Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
