we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
