Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
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