how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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