just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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