dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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