i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
