Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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