It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
We got so high we made milksteak
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
