Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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