I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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