Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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