Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
