My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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