I just saw a hot homeless man
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
my poor anus
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
