he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
