is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
