That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
