i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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