I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
