that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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