'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
