My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
