Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
