Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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