why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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