Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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