he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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