Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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