Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
