i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
