Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
