So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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