why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
