i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
