i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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