I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
